When is the right time for counselling?

This is an interesting question. Should one go to counselling when things are so bad that they can no longer stand it, or should they go when things are just starting to feel out of control? Should someone seek assistance though counselling because they are unable to resolve issues that keep popping up again and again or should they make the call the first time something disconcerting happens that they can’t figure out?

The answer is that any and all of these points in time are valid. It is a myth that counselling involves months and months of deep, belly button staring self-analysis. It is also a myth that counselling is only for those who can’t handle their problems or cope with life. Counselling is an opportunity to quietly, calmly and intelligently sift through a few things that you are struggling to make sense of. These things might have been there for many years and have been causing practical struggles for a long time or they may be something new. They may be deeply embedded issues from childhood that leave you struggling to be certain of the “real you”, or it may be some niggling little issue that you just can’t put your finger on. For some, counselling can last several months as they delve deeply down into their own psyches, and for others it is just about trying to understand how they feel about a specific, readily identifiable issue.

It doesn’t matter which of these is present for you. If there is something about life that just doesn’t feel quite right, then it would probably be helpful to have the time and space to be able to talk it through. Of course you should first consider those close to you and if you have a compassionate loved one who you feel can keep a confidence then by all means speak with them first. If, however that isn’t quite doing it, or you have worries that they may think you silly or nuts, then a few sessions with a qualified, experienced and professional counsellor will likely be of help.

One of my old clients described the process in this way “I would liken the process to shaking the branch of a tree, thoroughly, often, to the point where all the dead leaves and rubbish have dropped down, and what you are left with is the healthy green stuff”. For some who begin counselling, there is a great deal of material to sift through and decide what is worth keeping and nourishing and what should be taken to the tip. For others, it is a short, pragmatic and solution focused endeavor that achieves a specific goal. Both of these are valid and appropriate and in the first session you will be given the patient time and space to get a handle on what the best use of counselling might be for you.

If you would like to speak about the possibility of counselling and how it might be helpful for you, please telephone me on 01279 834467 for a free, no obligation conversation prior to booking a session.