The role of modern medicine in marital conflict
The role of modern medicine in marital conflict. Imagine this well-known question from the alter: “Do you Bob, take this woman Suzy as your lawfully wedded wife as long as you both shall live?”. Now, I imagine that I will win no popularity points for saying this, but I bet this question was a lot easier to answer when people thought they were going to be dead by 25! As we cascade onward into the 21st century however and science continues to uncover new ways of prolonging life, (which, according to the office of national statistics means 79.4 years for men, and 83.1 for women) this promise and commitment is bigger than ever. And of course, if we’re being fully honest here, we have to admit that in all likelihood few newlyweds truly consider the full weight of what it means to have just promised to be betrothed to their beloved for up to 60 years!
Not that I’m advocating never getting married, far from it. I’m just pointing out that once upon a time marital conflict had a bit of a shelf life. No matter how bad it got, you only had to deal with it for another couple of years before one or other of you popped your clogs. These days however, if married life goes South, you could have a VERY long wait on your hands for that to happen, and chances are you’ll need to take some sort of action (and I’m not advocating poisoning your partner here either, so don’t go getting any ideas!). One solution of course, is divorce and this article in the Fenland Citizen points out that the over 50s divorce rate is very much on the rise. Having said that, many, many people do not wish to get divorced. No, they don’t want to see another 30 or 40 years like the past few have been, but that doesn’t mean they want to chuck it all away either.
This is where couple therapy (or relationship counselling), comes into the picture. Sitting for a few sessions with an experienced, qualified relationship counsellor can truly be all that is required to put things back on track. I see it all the time, couples who have lost sight of each other to some degree. They still love each other, but there is a distance. A gap. A certain kind of disconnect and loneliness to the marriage that neither can put their fingers on. Over time this has grown from a seemingly innocent gap like sitting on different sofas, all the way to regularly sleeping in different rooms on different floors.
Whatever this gap my look like in your relationship, there is a strong possibility that sitting together with the appropriate person for a few hours can reset things for you. You will likely come to see each other in new and optimistic ways as well as create a new shared horizon to work towards. If you are in the general Bishops Stortford area and would like more information about how couples counselling may be of help to you in your relationship, please do drop me an email from the contact section in this website or give me a call. I’ll be happy to have a no obligation conversation with you about your needs and how I may be of assistance.
