When I first went with my husband to seek counselling, we were in a very bad state…
When I first went with my husband to seek counselling, we were in a very bad state. Yet I now feel that we are one of the lucky ones, and that because of our counselling have been able to sort through many things that we are happily working through – while … at the same time re-discovering ourselves and our lives together. What does counselling actually do? I would think most people perceive it as a kind of confessional. A place to admit some of your darkest fears and worries. Perhaps feel absolved in some way and then walk away. Or perhaps a time when you can be totally selfish and think only of yourself for that short time – confident in the knowledge that someone is listening and understanding you. For me personally, the experience has been a mixed bag. I have found (very much to my surprise), that I found it difficult to talk about myself except in relation to those around me, and yet I had always wanted to! I found that when speaking with Johnathan, I was repeating many things I had already thought through, and yet when I did so it fixed things in my mind in some different way so that I was able to distinguish between mild annoyances and real worries in a way I couldn’t so well on my own. I found it frustrating looking for an answer on my own and not finding one, and yet exhilarating when, after talking about something I did not necessarily know was bugging me so much, feeling refreshed upon leaving his premises. It has been pointed out to me more than once that the cost of regular sessions can be very hard to carry. Yet for me, how can anyone doubt its value if it helps you rediscover 25 years of a loving partnership and at the same time teach you more about the values and hopes you once had, yet somewhere along the way lost sight of. In my mind, counselling no longer has the stigma attached to it that it once had. People need it for a variety of reasons – as varied as the people themselves. There is definitely a sense of complete freedom to be able to speak to someone who is totally separated from your life, an outsider as it were, that you invite in to share with, and who then helps to lead you through the maze.
