When Malcolm my husband finally admitted that he’d been having a long standing affair…

When Malcolm my husband finally admitted that he’d been having a long standing affair with one of my good friends, I was devastated. But because of the manner in which he told me, and because we had had a previously wonderful marriage – I had no intention of summarily chucking him … out and we spent a good few weeks talking, including a long planned holiday where we seemed to do nothing but walk and talk – and even make love. However, it became obvious that Malcolm was absolutely eaten up with remorse, with guilt and all manner of feelings that he had buried for many years – including the fact that not only had his family disowned him – far too complicated to explain – but that he had lost two little boys through cot death and that his first marriage had broken up through that and other factors. He definitely needed to talk to somebody, and because Johnathan’s office was literally at the top of our road, he chose Johnathan. Right from the moment he walked back home after the first session, it was clearly apparent he had chosen the right person – there was a new spring in his step and his whole demeanour had changed. Malcolm saw Johnathan for several months and gradually became able to deal with his feelings and returned back to the wonderful husband I knew and loved. I too had issues, and decided that I too needed to speak to Johnathan – I found it very difficult to put images of Malcolm and his “mistress” out of my mind and these would intrude quite regularly. Johnathan assured me that because he had been speaking to Malcolm, and was now talking to me, the two wouldn’t merge – and they didn’t. But, there were several instances where, without breaking any confidences, Johnathan was able to console me simply because of his knowledge of what Malcolm had told him. Johnathan has an unique way of looking at things – a way of putting your problems into perspective and of somehow providing magic counselling and he gave me a mantra “Malcolm wants what he has” – which to me has become a talisman. We can recommend Johnathan whole heartedly – and far from being “ashamed” of seeking counselling – we are proud that we had enough sense to get help from a professional and not let pride, anger and guilt spoil our long lasting marriage.