Is sticking together like glue, always the right thing to do?

Is a family sticking together like glue, always the right thing to do? We’ve all heard it: “We’re staying together for the sake of the children”. I certainly know that I’ve been hearing this sort of thing for as long as I can remember. Sometimes however, we have to question these “age-old” statements of wisdom. Is “staying together for the sake of the children” really always the best idea? There is a tremendous amount of research available on this topic, such as shown in this article from The Male Online. As uncomfortable as it may be, the research attests again and again to the idea that staying together isn’t always in the best interest of your children.

Without question however, I am not suggesting in any way that a parent should just give up the ghost and leave, abandoning their kids to the other parent. What this research is about is the fact that where parents who are chronically unhappy and going through prolonged periods of constant argument, or who spend days on end in sulky silence, staying together for the sake of the kids starts to become less than ideal. Time and again studies show that children of divorce feel happier and more settled with two single (but happy) parents than they were when they had two miserable parents who were staying together for their sake.

Where I come into this discussion is in answering the question: “Is it possible to fix our relationship, and become happy together again?”. The answer to this question is: “Quite possibly, yes”.

I regularly work with couples who have been stuck in a rut of misery for years. Yes, they more or less function together as parents, but there is little love, and even less joy in the relationship itself. How do such couples find a way through this? I would ask you to read through the series of blogs entitled “What is couples counselling?” on this website. Most couples are surprised to discover that (put quite simply), where there is a will, there is a way. So, no. Sticking together like glue isn’t always the right thing to do, but bouncing off each other like rubber doesn’t help things much either. For those in the greater Bishops Stortford area, you may well find it is really worth coming along to an initial counselling session of the type described in the blog series What is couples counselling?. If you would like more information about couples counselling, and how it may help you and your family, please feel free to contact me for a fully confidential, no obligation discussion of your needs.